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Because you’re too damn fabulous to be restrained by the range of clothes in the men’s section at H&M.

It’s easier to get business walking the streets if you’re in a mini-skirt. Businessmen always pay more for chicks with dicks, too.

Sitting down to pee is far more acceptable if you’re in nine-inch stilettos.

So you can leave red lipstick rings on your Marlboro Lite white tips, just like all the best Hollywood stars.

Because the lace hems go well with your Goldilocks curls.

With legs like those, it’d be criminal not to show them off!

You just can’t help yourself. Not since Uncle Frank first made you dress up all those years ago.

Because Lady Gaga just can’t do  it right. You’ll show that bitch how wearing a skirt steak, erm, skirt is done!

Hoop skirts and silk brocades were all the rage for Marie Antoinette, so why not for you?

Who wouldn’t want to get paid to prance around in a frock, miming the words to all the campest songs out there, while being as mean as possible to everybody?