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Reach out and touch me

Now in its second dickade, the outrageously funny PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS featuring two strapping puppeteers, who bend, twist and manipulate their genitals into various objects and landmarks, has broken all box office records worldwide. They are back with a brand new show enhanced by using the very latest 3D technology, PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS 3D that will bring to life the duo’s theatrical contortions as you’ve never seen them before.

Wearing 3D glasses for the duration of this mind-blowing, hilarious show, audiences will gain a whole new perspective on the pair’s legendary genital gesticulations such as the Eiffel Tower, The Windsurfer and even edible delights like their signature dish, The Hamburger – as every intimate shape will be captured on video camera, projected onto a large screen and then enhanced using special 3D effects, to create larger than life images that are so real you could almost reach out and cop a feel!

Once the boys have finished their stint at the Edinburgh Fringe, they set about scaring the maidens around this fair country as they embark on a massive UK tour from September. Bent thought it opportune to get the low down on what it takes to be a genital manipulator.

Do you have to use special lotions and potions to keep your equipment in peak condition?
No lotions and potions I’m afraid. Lots of sweaty handling seems to do the trick.

Have there been many ‘accidental’ spillages during a show?
Spillages! Good Lord no. That would get us arrested in the theatre. Maybe the eye got a tear in it on the odd night.

You’re world famous now so do people expect you to sign autographs… with the stars of the show?
Well we are very aware that we just carry the famous ones around. Sort of like Lindsey Lohan’s minder. I have on occasion left a sweaty ball print in one of our books.

Have you ever felt the need for audience participation… and if so… how did it go?
Oh we do it every night. Opening night in the West End in 2000. We have the Westminster lawyers in the theatre to make sure this is a “play” and we are not running it as a sex venue. There is a section of the show where I do the fruit bat, which involves me being upside down doing a handstand whilst an audience volunteer holds my ankles in the air. When we asked for a volunteer before we could say a word, a very excitable young man came sprinting down the isle, so we were left with no choice but to ignore the several bachelorettes and invite him onstage. I launched and flipped upside down and he grabbed my ankles. All going well so far. He then in front of 1000 theatre loving guests, decided to ….lick my balls.

Is there anything you wouldn’t recommend folk try at home?
The skateboard. Oh, and putting fresh chillies on your balls.

Have you managed to encourage any of your many famous fans… to have a go?
Oh yes. Hugh Grant told me he did the onion bhaji, said it was a lot like my KFC, but his scrotum was quite scarlet and wrinkly.

How do you think your audience will react to the 3D element?
I want to see them trying to swing from the penis’s!

You appear to be taking the 3D genre into another sphere… how does it feel to be theatrical pioneers?
Well it’s nice to be back there! 10 years ago a camera and a video screen was cutting edge. Now we are using CGI and the latest in 3D projection.

Has anyone tried to impersonate your skills on any of the reality talent shows… what would your reaction be if they did?
We’re not precious. Happy for people to run with them. Just don’t put capes on and sell tickets!

When the stars have finished performing at night what do they like to get wrapped up in… is it a case of sexy budgie smugglers or something more prestigious?
A nice woolly cocksock knitted by my Nana.