After all, I go to the gym three times each week to lift weights. Then twice a week I do kickboxing, which I even undertook on a professional basis a few years back. Plus all of the mountain biking I do through the countryside on the weekends. Oh yes, and not forgetting the obvious multi-hour sex sessions both in front of the camera and in private, of course. In short, I should be in top-notch form!
It just so happens that my boyfriend and I are both long-term members of the same gym; but whilst I focus on the weights and the sauna, he’s more involved in courses and exercises such as spinning, power-hotstepping, yoga and body-pumping. I always have to laugh when I see the guys behind the window – jumping around, lifting their small weights and sweating like hell in the process! It always looks really funny to me, and I can’t help but think that my boyfriend exaggerates how difficult it is when he walks out of his hour-long body-pumping class looking half-dead and staggers on to join me in the sauna!
Well, at least that’s how I used to think – until he talked me into joining one of his “body power pumping” classes. Being the fool that I am, I chose to join the advanced course, seeing as my boyfriend is in the “professional” group and I’m both younger and (presumably) fitter than him!
But what can I say? It was hell! After just 30 minutes I almost puked; and after 50 minutes I had to leave the class because I just couldn’t move anymore. I thought I was gonna be doing a little bit of aerobic exercise with a few light weights and some loud music. What I definitely didn’t expect was having the company of the boot-camp instructor from hell! Okay, so this trainer was cute, damn fit and very innocent looking – aged about 22, with short blond hair and an athletic body that he liked to show off in his tight cycling shorts and tank-top – but he was as physically ruthless as they come!
He was the kind of guy I’d have loved to have had in bed, where I can show him that I’m the boss! But here in the gym I had to do exactly what he wanted. And to my credit I tried – I really tried …
It started with us attaching some small weights to our hands and ankles. Then everyone got themselves a dumbbell and a small bench – at which point the music started. The angelic face of our trainer quickly changed into a demonic grin, as he began to shout out his satanic orders!
The first few minutes were great fun and the music was fantastic. But it wasn’t long before the weights on my legs and arms started to take their toll. Indeed, after 20 minutes it was pretty obvious to me: I was never going to survive the hour! To make matter worse, my boyfriend and all the others weren’t even breaking into a sweat – whilst I was on the point of fainting! Meanwhile, the horrible drill instructor continued to shout out his orders, as he now began to turn his focus on me. Needless to say, I hated him as I carried on trying to jump on and off my little bench whilst lifting the dumbbell into the air. Never in my life has 30cms seemed so high or 10kgs seemed so heavy!
Afterwards, in the showers, my legs were so weak and shaky that I had to sit under the shower-head on the floor! I just couldn’t stand upright anymore. Then, in the sauna afterwards, the comely-looking trainer sat down right next to me. Once again, he was his charming, sexy self – a far cry from the bellowing, half-mad drill instructor he had been just a few minutes before. He explained that I’d done quite well in his class and that a few more hours of training would see me getting through the whole 60 minutes. Then he put his hand down on my naked, still slightly shaking thigh. He asked me if I wanted to meet up later that evening for another training session – “maybe at his place” – but believe it or not I actually turned the offer down. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely wanted to have this guy in my bed, but I was just so totally exhausted from this damn body-pumping class that I just couldn’t stand the thought of any more exercise for at least the next couple of days – sex and blow-jobs included! Meantime, in the opposite (dark) corner I heard my friend giggling, which I knew meant that he himself had already enjoyed the experience with this trainer and had found it pretty satisfying. Geez, what a bloody mess!
So you can see that I definitely have to work on my fitness levels, which of course means attending the body-pumping classes again in future – this time, however, in the beginner course!