Many hetero men display homoerotic qualities in their relationships with each other. But which are the gayest hetero friendships of them all?
10. Paul & Barry Chuckle – I know these two would have us believe they’re brothers, but there’s something very queer about all that ‘To you, to me’ business. Sounds like a bit of flip-flop bed action to me.
9. Dave Lister & Arnold Rimmer – They claim to despise each other, fight all the time, constantly put each other down, but when it comes to it, neither can live without the other. Even after Lister went three million years into deep space, Rimmer came back from the dead to be with him. And remember that episode where Lister dreams of Rimmer giving him a snog?
8. Matt Damon & Ben Affleck – They were in Good Will Hunting together, they were in Dogma together, and they were in bed together. Well, maybe not the last one, but certainly the first two. It’s only a matter of time before they reveal all that passionate, legs-in-the-air love they’ve been making over the years. Awww.
7. Mr Miyagi & The Karate Kid – Mr Miyagi enjoys watching the Karate Kid do chores for him. He especially loves to watch him break out into a sweat. He gets him to wash his car, paint his fence, and get all BDSM with the other boys. Someone likes their chickens!
6. Joe Pesci & Daniel Stern – Do you remember the first two Home Alone films (they were the good ones with Macaulay Culkin)? Pesci and Stern are called the Wet Bandits. We can only imagine they’re into water sports. What’s more, they’re always together and have spent some time cooped up in prison together. My bet is that Stern likes to be bossed around.
5. Edward Norton & Brad Pitt – In Fight Club poor Edward Norton is so far back in the closet he creates his own imaginary friend, who looks a helluva lot like Brad Pitt. Gay? Of course! And the only way he can get that sweaty, bruised Pitt out of his head is to unload a pistol in his mouth. Dirty queer.
4. Simon Pegg & Nick Frost – They were best friends in Spaced. They were best friends in Shaun of the Dead. They were best friends in Hot Fuzz. They were best mates in Paul. In fact it seems the two of them can barely manage to be apart. They regularly call each other ‘babe’ and other such terms of endearment, and there’s a recurring gag that they might be gay (particularly in Paul). Wouldn’t it just be beautiful if they were?
3. Tim Robbins & Morgan Freeman – In The Shawshank Redemption these two seem to fall in love at first sight. This is that subtle kind of love which only the keen-eyed would notice. But isn’t it sweet that they decide to escape together and end up living on a beach happily ever after? That’s a real scene of gay hetero love.
2. Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger – Nothing breaks a gay man’s heart like the sight of two straight men pretending to be gay men pretending to be straight, based on a novel written by a straight woman. Especially when they’re as beautiful as Gyllenhaal and Ledger in Brokeback Mountain. Matt Damon had originally been asked to star alongside Joaquin Phoenix in an adaptation to be helmed by Gus Van Sant, but after appearing in a ‘gay movie’ (The Talented Mr. Ripley) and a ‘cowboy movie’ (All the Pretty Horses) he didn’t want his next film to be a ‘gay cowboy movie’. Phoenix would’ve been interesting, but Damon not so much. And his loss is our gain.
1. Terence Stamp & Bill Hunter – Terence Stamp’s performance as Bernadette Basinger in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is one of the best portrayals of a trans woman in popular cinema. What’s more, her on-screen relationship with the gentle-mannered mechanic Bob (Bill Hunter) is one of the most affecting LGBT romances to hit the big screen. Stamp plays excellent bad guys, but the sight of him in full drag gave him a vulnerability and strength that won him a Seattle International Film Festival Award for Best Actor. When Bernadette stays behind to be with Bob at the end of the film, it breaks our hearts every time. You go, girl!