AdviceAll Articles

Dear Simon…July 2010

simonpicDear Simon
I have become addicted to Grindr on my iPhone. Not only am I flirting with everyone locally that I physically can but even sleeping with quite a few of them. I have now actually started in the area where I work, in the pubs in town, anywhere and everywhere really. I am slightly worried I might not have only become the local bike, but the city bike. I am letting anyone and everyone have a go. How can I stop?
Luke, Manchester
Dear Luke,
As long as you are safe, not hurting anyone and enjoying it… why stop. Isn’t part of the fun of being single the fact that you are allowed to do what you damn well please? We all have peaks and lows in our sex lives and it looks like this is a real peak for you. I suggest you enjoy it but as soon as it stops being fun… stop… or change your phone.

Dear Simon
I have become a World Cup widow and what’s worrying is that it looks like I am going to remain one after the whole ridiculous event has finished. I should explain more. My boyfriend, who I had no idea liked football (aren’t gay men supposed to be allergic to football) and his mates have started having football parties. Yes, this include dressing up in outfits to match the countries etc so it’s not too macho. Anyway they have all now made a pact to go and support local teams over the weekends when the season starts. Should I be worried?
Alex, London
Dear Alex,
I don’t think that all gay men have to be allergic to football isn’t that a little stereotypical? In fact, as someone ones pointed out; what could be more gay than 22 healthy young guys running around in their tight shorts? But back to your problem. I don’t think there is anything to worry about to be honest. We don’t always have to have the same interests or even have to like the interests that our partners have. It would be frightfully boring if we all liked the same things. If you’re worried about having your sex-filled weekends disrupted by him gawping at other sexy lads… perhaps you should just pre-empt it by slipping into a footie kit and see how often you both score.

Dear Simon
I bumped into an old flame of mine, one that I used to have lots and lots of no-strings fun with before I met my partner of four years. We hadn’t seen each other for five years and the attraction and chemistry was instantly there. He came round for coffee and we didn’t have sex but there was a lot of fooling around and we have arranged to do it again. We met each others boyfriends and we don’t want to break up with them… or tell them, so who is it hurting. It’s just fun and technically its not cheating as I met him first.
Stewart, Leeds
Dear Stewart
Let’s face it, if you don’t want to tell your partner… you already know you’re cheating. I don’t think its not cheating just because you two knew each other before you met your prospective boyfriends. It’s cheating if you aren’t aren’t in open relationships or have certain understandings already sorted between your partners. Though this may be fun now however, you have mentioned chemistry and attraction, which suggests you have feelings for each other. Why did you stop speaking, or lose touch with each other? It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of meeting people again but take those rose-tinted glasses off from time to time and look at the situation objectively if you can. If you continue be prepared for tears!