Simon Says


Dear Simon

I am dreading Valentine’s Day this year as I don’t have a boyfriend and can’t really see one turning up within a month. There is so much pressure to be with someone and be out spending the night with that special person. I don’t want to be a gay man’s version of Bridget Jones getting blind drunk and singing all by myself alone. What is your advice?

John, Newcastle

Dear John

I think the best advice I can give you is to get a group of your single mates and go out and have a big old gay night on the tiles. I think staying in, if you aren’t in the mood to be home alone, is an utterly pointless exercise but then so would be brooding in a bar by yourself. So call up all your single mates – male and female – and go and have a good old boogie. Or you could give speed dating a try or something like that, we have a feature on that this month.

Dear Simon

I have been with my husband for five years now, though only married for one. He has suddenly announced that what he would really like to do for Valentine’s Day is have a threesome and it has left me feeling a bit confused and bewildered. I was under the impression this wasn’t what was going to happen to our relationship, it’s made me wonder if he isn’t satisfied with me. He says it would be a one off and I want to make him happy, could this be a slippery slope and become the future of our relationship?

Jude, London

Dear Jude

Hmmm, if you’re really not keen on having a threesome then you need to say so to your husband now. It could easily be that he thinks this would be a ‘one off bit of fun’ however, if he knows that you don’t feel comfortable doing it I am sure that he won’t want to. Also remember this suggestion doesn’t mean he is bored with you, it could just be something he thought that you would find fun. Have a chat with him, that’s my advice. Just one pointer… see if he had anyone specific in mind as the third person… if he does… you really do need that chat.

Dear Simon

The price of Valentines winds me up. How can I do something special for Valentine’s within a decent budget? All my friends are booking hotels, or going to the most expensive restaurants and booking huge bouquets of roses and the like. What happened to just sending a card?

Dave, Leicester

Dear Dave,

I think that there is too much hype around Valentine’s Day, look at the pressure several of you are under. I am of a mind that you shouldn’t only do special things on Valentine’s do it whenever. If you want to do something special I wouldn’t say sending a card is the best option. I would cook their favourite meal, get their favourite pudding, favourite DVD, some candles and then give them some mind blowing sex, job done!