Simon Says: Oct 2010

simonpicDear Simon
I recently found that my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me. I was under the impression everything was alright and I was confident we’d always be together. Now I feel I don’t even know him. Should I stay and work it out or give him the boot and move on?
Trev – Cardiff

First ask yourself, is the relationship worth it for you? Do you love him? Can you forgive him? What does he feel about the situation now you’ve found out? Are you both really all that happy or have you been living a life with your heads buried in the sand? If you want to save your relationship you might need a third party to assist in getting down to the nitty-gritty of your true feelings. Alternatively, you might decide that monogamy isn’t for either of you and if you can’t cope with that idea, you might as well get out now.

Dear Simon
How do I become a drag queen? Whenever I go to a gay night spot it seems it is the drag queens that are surrounded by gorgeous men while I sit on my own and watch. They are always laughing, being funny and outrageous and everyone seems to love them. I have no great desire to put on a sparkly dress but I am jealous. Please help.
Martin – Newcastle

Well there is nothing legally stopping you putting on a frock and getting out there. The couple of drag queens I ran this past say that putting on a frock was the first stage in making them a more confident person. In drag they can be someone they wouldn’t dream of being any other time and when they adopted a drag persona… have been able to achieve a boost in all areas of their life. Perhaps, if instead of watching what is going on you joined in… you might find your own confidence growing. Having a bunch of friends around is a great plus in the confidence stakes and just saying “Hi” can often get that invite to stick around.

Dear Simon
XXXXX XXXXX is a twat (name withheld for legal reasons) Yes my boyfriend is unbelievable. He promised we would have Christmas away together but it was cancelled as he said he was too ill. Later I found he had gone home to his parents who live 200 miles away. Why didn’t he ask me to look after him, he’s such a mummy’s boy and all gob and little action. I fell for him nearly three years ago but he has just let me down time after time… what is wrong with gay guys who just can’t face being in a relationship?
Paul – Luton

You have given very little for me to go on except you are rapidly running out of patience with your boyfriend. Is there an age difference? Are you more positive and in charge about things in general? Was he rushed into a relationship? I’m not saying any of these points are the actual reason but you might like to look at your part in this. It is always easier (and guiltless) if we can blame our partners for any rough patches in a relationship but quite often we don’t often see the pain or confusion of our own actions. Stop calling him a twat and talk to him.

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