First night turn offs

I was discussing with my boyfriend the other day about things that had turned us off on previous early ventures into gaydom.

Meeting Mr Right has never been easy but you would think that gay guys would have a bit of class about it for when they do. I’m afraid to report that this isn’t the case and we often let the side down by not being prepared to dazzle that ‘nice young man’ you’ve just met.  I was surprised that my bf and I had had such similar experiences so here are our Top 10 turn offs when you’ve been invited back for that first night of passion.

• 1.       Unfeasibly large dildo on dresser (is it for me or him and just how high are his expectations?)
• 2.       Dirty underwear on bedpost (not the turn-on you might think)
• 3.       Used condoms not quite in the waste bin (feels like you’re on the assembly line… next please)
• 4.       Stuffed toys (One? Maybe. A zoo is taking his childish streak too far)
• 5.       Nail/Toenail clippings (Yuk and more yuk)
• 6.       Really dirty sheets (No excuse for not doing the laundry occasionally to welcome a new guest)
• 7.       Photos of ex-boyfriends on every available surface (he’s never gonna get over him)
• 8.       Half eaten food and/or empty pizza cartons (says a lot about how you’ll be treated when he’s got what he wants from you)
• 9.       Heavy images and/or religious artefacts everywhere (crucifixion seems a little OTT on a first date)
• 10.    Collection of Star Wars (inject any nerdy film franchise here) memorabilia (get over it, remember, you’re supposed to be old enough to have sex)

Please make a note: If you’re keen and plan on taking him back to your place for that first, new sexual thrill… at least have the courtesy to make him feel that it’s not a sordid encounter and that your bedroom is an oasis of refined hospitality. A quick spray with an air-freshener is not really enough but it is a start.