Tellin’ Stories – Terry George – Pam Ann

You F’Coffee

The Bloomsbury Theatre is a strange amalgamation of a student’s refectory and a theatre but became the perfect setting for that airhostess par excellence, Pam Ann. I’ve loved her since I first saw her back in 2004 when she was the warm up act for Cher, who asked her “Can You Turn Back Time?” To which Pam said, “I can do Sydney to London… that should get you 12 hours”.  We all knew then she was a star as she brought tears of laughter to the eyes of every airline employee and anyone who has ever flown, while regaling us with her totally unique take on the ‘art of flying’. All these years on and she has perfected her routine, observations and rapport with her audience to such an extent that we just love everything she does. For a full ninety minutes she regaled us with stories from the dark world of Economy, the more sophisticated Business Class and those ever demanding First Class patrons who think that their importance is anything to compare to her glorious self… foolish people. She has even incorporated Royalty into her act as she asks that most pertinent of questions – “What would Katy do?”  Yes, the Duchess of Cambridge now has a chance of becoming more famous than her sister Pippa’s bum.  

Pam Ann is quite a force on stage and attracts legions of fans across the globe so it isn’t surprising to see several famous faces in the audience at any of her gigs. She counts Madonna as one of her many celebrity fans so I wasn’t surprised to see my good friend Alan Carr in complete hysterics while enjoying the wisdom of the woman who has made flying more fun than it should be. Over the years she has become a gay icon, her  outragous comments, her camp routine, her glamorous lifestyle… and the simple fact that she is brilliantly funny, have made each performance an event.  She encourages the audience to get up and take part, while responding to her insults and at times, physical attacks on some poor ‘unsuspecting’ member of the crowd. I’m sure there are many men who would simply volunteer to be smothered by Pam’s huge breasts but I refrained from being suffocated by her glorious twin airbags… horses for courses I suppose.  In the meantime, if you get a chance to see Pam in action don’t think twice… dump any excess baggage and book that ticket immediately.