A quickie sex session can deliver instant gratification, just like a fast-food burger can quell hunger, but for a real feast you need courses and the longer the build up, the better the orgasm. Don’t rush, take things easy and breathe deeply to stay calm and in control. Play around with different sensations and positions during build-up, but once into the home run, don’t deviate. Pre-climax pleasure that is continuous and consistent is key to coming like a sledgehammer!
Use words that involve your lover and sexy suggestions are more likely to be embraced with baited breath. Saying “I’d love it if we (insert your desired fantasy!)” conveys togetherness whereas “I would love to …” can be misconstrued as desperate or dissatisfied. Whispering is easier than square in the eye. Make your suggestions in a romantic situation but not in bed or during sex, unless you are confident of an instant uptake! Visiting a sex shop together can be a fabulous way to explore new possibilities, discover more about your partner’s desires and perhaps pick out some sensual playthings that turn you both on.
Anything that is habitual will loose its thrill, so the way to spice things up is to break the routine. If you always get jiggy in the missionary position on a Friday night, then ravish your lover on a Tuesday morning in the bathroom or over the kitchen table. Send a sex-text. Introduce a sex toy. Have a massage date. Approach spicing-up as a fun and playful thing to do, not as a comment on the state of your sex life, as pressure to perform can be a libido-killer. Keeping it light and surprising will ensure it will be spicy and hot!