White on the Fringe

After a musical growing-up of various stages; through choir boy, junior trumpet star, ragtime pianist, song writer, music graduate, inadequate teacher and finally overlooked and somewhat failed composer, Robert White took a jump out of the comfort zone of his parochial home town into London’s under-world of artistic opportunity in order to continue his life’s love affair with music and instead was seduced by comedy.

Where are you from originally?

A town so boring the only things to do were go to the library or have a walk in the park, and I’m dyslexic! So I had a wank in the park.

I see from your press pic that you do some of your composing in the loo… are you a big fan of chamber music?

I see what you’ve done there! How very clever?! Well …. Ah Yes! Chamber music, toilet humour and putting people on a pedestal are all part of what I do. That’s why I look so flushed. Ta Daa!!

What are your influences?

I grew up in a very musical house! It was … A-flat. Ta Daa!! (you started it!)

Tell us how you made it in the comedy world?

A lot of hard work, hard graft, luck and allowing agents to use me as a fluffer.

Why is the Edinburgh Fringe so important to comedians… surely it can’t be just the idea of all those kilts?

Obviously, easy access to naughty bits is imperative to making it big at the world’s number one comedy festival. NOT! But then again don’t forget the gay Gordons.

They say you are idiosyncratic… what the hell does that mean?

I think it’s a polite way of people saying they think I’m mental. You know in the same way that grandmothers aren’t racist they’re just traditional. No offence to my grandmother by the way she’s not racist … she’s just traditional!

Do you have a particular gay stance for your comedy?

I find it’s best to face the audience, unless you’ve reached the point of needing to run away.

Are we going to see you touring? If so where?

I’m constantly doing gigs in London and all over, but my next big thing is my Edinburgh Fringe debut this August. Watch out for me at the Gilded Balloon at 9.30pm every night from 5th – 30th August. Expect eccentric puns and silly randomness, obscure musical inventions, heartfelt songs and a partly exploding trumpet.

I see you were a choir boy… do you want to talk about it?

Nowadays I get dressed up in a camp fashion and sing ridiculous words to randomly mental music with an ever-present undercurrent of gayness. So being a choirboy was just the same really, but with more sex.

Catch Robert from the 5th to 30th August at 9.30 at the Gilded Balloon at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. www.edfringe.com