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Simon Says – August

simonpicDear Simon
My boyfriend and I are really arguing at the moment over something which should be a positive… holidays. He really wants to go somewhere that’s a real gay hot spot. Whereas, I would rather go somewhere quiet and have some recuperation rather than spend a few days clubbing my brains out, we can do that any weekend in town. I don’t know how we can come to a compromise. It’s not like we even have two weeks so we could do one week of his sort of thing and then mine the next. What do you suggest?
Dave, Newcastle

Dear Dave,
I think really you need to stand your ground to be honest. This isn’t just one person’s holiday this is for both of you and you’re going to be one of the people who is footing the bill for the whole thing. Holidays should be enjoyable and a time you get to do what you want to do, we don’t get them that often do we? I suggest you find a nice city and have say three days of the night life and then move to a beach nearby for the next four? Maybe that could work?

Dear Simon
I don’t quite know what to do with regard to my latest boyfriend as there is quite an age difference. I myself am 25 however my new man, and emphasis on man, is 55 years old. Now despite being a bit of a silver fox he really doesn’t look or act like people would think a 55 year old would. I actually also chased him, though no one believes that’s the case. The thing is… we have now been going out for quite some time and he wants to meet the family. I met his which didn’t go too well as his mother kept calling me ‘the child’. I am just worried about what my parents will say as my friends were initially really anti the whole thing though they have gotten used to it eight months down the line.
Luke, Bradford

Dear Luke
I think something that you actually said in your question is something you have to remember. People will get used to it. So even if your family flip and get quite angry about it just give them some time to get used to the idea. The longer you are together the longer people will have to get used to it and see that you two are still together. I think as long as you are both happy then what does it matter, age isn’t anything but a number so they say.

Dear Simon
I am quite concerned as my boyfriend is having his summer holiday without me. I wouldn’t mind if he was going off to Bognor or something with his mates for a week but they have decided to head to San Francisco and then Miami to have a real gay old time. I am worried that while he is away he might meet someone else or do something with someone else. I was invited to go, and some couples are going, but I couldn’t afford it. So now he is using the ‘You were invited, if I wanted to go off and do something I wouldn’t invite you and I could do that here!’ I see his point but I know the whole two weeks I will be worrying.
Karl, Manchester

Dear Karl,
Why would it be OK to go off to Bognor without you but not San Francisco? He could still meet someone anywhere the location doesn’t really come into it. However, I think the best thing for you to do is to book some time away with a couple of your friends. It doesn’t have to be anywhere swanky just what you can afford. That way you’re both having a break and it means you will be focussed on something positive rather than spending two weeks at home moping and worrying. I don’t know how long you and your boyfriend have been together, I am guessing not too long due to your worry but you need to not get too paranoid as it could cause some serious issues along the way. You’re going to have to trust him, after all, he may be thinking that for two weeks you are out there on your own… perhaps you’ll stray.