by Les Lea.
So, here I am, sitting at my computer wearing nothing but a thick disposable diaper and my plastic pants. “Why would any sane person dress like that?” you might ask, and that is a difficult question because I have no idea where the original thought came from.
It must have something to do with me trying to research an article online that I was preparing to write for a magazine. I was looking for something crazy and as I was checking through the various fetish sites ‘Adult Baby’ and ‘Diaper Lovers’ seemed a good subject for me to get my journalistic teeth into. I was amazed at just how many ‘weird but normal’ people seemed to be into this particular ‘thing’ and I thought I could have some fun with the subject.
Why I chose this particular theme I’m not sure but as I looked into it more and more it appeared to be a topic with promise and one from which I could take the piss. Nevertheless, the sites were weirdly compelling and I became fascinated with the images and stories. I must have read hundreds of stories about how various people got into this particular scene, or why, for medical reasons they had no option. Guys of every age, shape and size seemed to like the idea of being well padded… there were even more sites with girls and women dressed in such a way but they seemed created for a heavy sex slant to the fetish and I wanted to look more at those who just loved dressing this way. It was all new to me but I was absorbed as to why someone should find wondering around like that appealing. Oddly enough, I was drawn back to these sites time and time again and what else happened is, that over the following weeks, the notion to purchase and wear this ‘infantalistic’ clothing just grew. In fact, I think it is fair to say that the idea seemed to overtake any other thoughts in my head. Every time I saw an image of someone wearing a diaper, I saw my face smiling, or gurgling or sucking on a pacifier. It was creepy yet compulsive.
At night my dreams were full of these images of me playing, colouring, building bricks high or just lying in a crib with my toys, snuggling with my stuffed animals and feeling nothing but… joy. When I woke up I’d be happy and smiling but later, when I was more awake, a chill ran through my body wondering why this subject was having such an effect.
A couple of weeks back I found myself at the drugstore buying adult diapers and I have no recollection of even driving there. My only real memory is carrying the huge plastic pack back to my car and feeling happy. Yes HAPPY. Again I’m not sure why but I suppose I was glad that I now had my diapers and apparently a couple of pairs of plastic pants to keep me dry. On returning home I just tossed the bundle into the back of the wardrobe wondering why I’d just bought such items and telling myself that I’d return it all the following morning. However, since then, some mornings I’d wake up and find that I was wearing a diaper and have no recollection of putting it on. What might be even stranger is that I’d find myself happily gurgling and clapping along to some toddler’s early morning TV show before returning to my job at the computer.
Where and when I first got the idea of actually wearing a diaper instead of my usual underwear I’m not sure but here I am wearing them at the computer, around the house and when I go to bed. In fact, I seem very happy wearing them all the time. Those first couple of occasions it all felt very strange; the bulk and the obvious bulge I was sure were very noticeable. However, after just a few trial trips out in the car to the stores or wondering around town wearing them under a pair of shorts (I’ve more or less stopped wearing jeans now) it all felt… normal. If anyone noticed they didn’t say anything so, it didn’t seem to matter that much to me because I really did like the idea, as well as the feeling, of being well-padded and… of… happiness… that this change in clothing gave me.
Since I left home a couple of years ago my mummy and daddy… er, I mean mam and dad (why I used those childish terms I’m not sure) have er, erm, er… what was I going to say? Never mind… daddy… mummy…
What the hell is going on? Why am I acting so strangely? I’m scared that I can’t find… Why am I crying and wiping away tears? I need to work and finish this feature and get back to normality as soon as possible. I look down at myself and the plastic pants feel tight around my waist and legs and I can see the outline of Disney characters on my childish diaper and all is forgotten because I’m filled with joy and happiness that I have them with me. Another sudden panic fills me but I search around the room for my best friend Barney my teddy bear. Relief. There he is… but just how long as he been sitting waiting for my outstretched hands? Still, I’m glad to see him as always (always?) never far away and I can reach out and give him a hug and a squeeze, whilst the sensation of his soft fur against my naked skin sends messages of contentment to my brain. I love my Barney… mmmm… he’s so… mmmm… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Eventually, I continue my research on ‘Diaper Love’, that’s the title of my article, a sort of word play on ‘Deeper Love’, but as I look at the word document on the computer, other than the title and my name, I appear to have written nothing… and yet… I feel I’ve been researching and writing this article for months. I’m beginning to doubt my sanity. Where can all my work be? I’m sure I have typed thousands of words on the subject, and looking at my history in the toolbar, I have returned to the same ABDL page often. Indeed, when I look more carefully, that is the only site I’ve looked at in the past few months. Surely I have seen loads of other pages? What the hell….?
The site page is there in front of me, loads of images of young guys in their diapers and they all seem to be smiling at me. Why are they smiling? A handsome youth walks across the screen wearing a onesie and holding a teddy bear… you can see he is very well padded as he has a slight waddle but… it can’t be… he’s waving at me. Even whilst he’s sucking on a pacifier he looks happy and he’s beckoning to me to join him. I’m sitting looking at the screen wondering what is going on. I’m crying again for my mummy… I panic… I feel so small and helpless… I want my teddy…
Barney is held tightly in one hand, whilst my thumb is in my mouth and I am sucking and trying to think at the same time. Thinking is hard and I feel my eyes getting heavy as I try to stay awake and close the ABDL site once and for all. I’ve never noticed it before but there appears to be some soft relaxing, almost hypnotic, music somewhere in the background and I can barely make out a soothing voice telling me it is OK to sleep.
As my eyes close a feeling of utter wellbeing engulfs me. All I can hear is that soft, gentle music and those calming, encouraging words telling me that all is well and soon I’ll have no more worries. I’m submerged yet floating in a warm sea… With my diaper tightly hugging my groin making me feel safe and snug, my thumb offering equal soothing qualities as I suck on it, I drift off. I can feel a warmth grow in my diaper as I let loose and wet myself but it doesn’t worry me because I am comfortable, reassured, pacified and… happy and I…
Subject Number 0012, Age 23, regression complete.
Collection and clean-up party mobilised.
Delivery as Dispatch Number 0008, address as shown on invoice.
Special requests: Subject to wear – pink diaper, pink plastic pants, pink sox, pink mittens and pink pacifier.
Begin urgent global search for Subject Number 0013
Images courtesy Tumblr