Top Five Bars: NEW YORK

SPANK
The aptly-named Spank is a crazy melange of DJs, live performance, art and the coolest crowd in town. Expect to see the stars of NYC indie-flick Shortbus chit-chatting with strident models and effervescent dancers dressed as testicles. Artists such as Xavier and Yozmit will wow you, and sexy band Street Hero will arouse you, but watch out for En Subtitles, whose act, when we saw it, included emerging from a giant vagina wrapped in fake placenta. Add to this dance remixes of legendary calypso song ‘Day-O (The Banana Boat Song’ and the most banging beats this side of the Atlantic, and this place is sure to be a hit with UK crowds with a more discerning taste when it comes to club music. One for fans of Circus and Shoreditch.
Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Gowanus, Brooklyn, NY 11217

Photo: Cielito M Vivas

BARTINI ULTRA LOUNGE
Famous for its Lychee Martinis and cocktail happy hour, Hell’s Kitchen hotspot Bartini Ultra Lounge is chilled early in the evening and full of clubbing sophisticates come nighttime. Expect underlit neon, white, flowers, and dance remixes of everything gay and poppy you can think of. Okay, it’s maybe not quite as fashionable nor as cutting edge it likes to think it is, but it has good drinks and doorwhoring by NYC’s finest diva, Emily McNamara.  Another big bonus is that they sell a super-exclusive vodka called White Lotus. It’s especially infused with vitamins and minerals to help prevent hangovers. Seriously.
642 10th Ave, NY 10036

THERAPY
This sexy venue has cabaret, comedy and delish cocktails for the palate. Minimalism presides in this two-level space, where hot boys mill around the cozy fireplace, drinking their Freudian Sips and nibbling on their famous 12-inch weiner or Therapy Burger. Watch out for the Electro Shock Therapy Comedy Hour every Sunday.
384 W 52nd Street, Midtown West, NY 10019

GYM BAR
Whether you like football or figure skating, Gym Bar is the sports bar for you. Macho musclemen rub shoulders with gym bunnies and gymnasts, and happy hour is weekdays from 4-9pm. And with 2-for-1 drinks offers you’ll be very happy indeed. If you’re feeling like getting up close and personal, then check out The Locker Room: full of video screens, brick walls and a copper-topped bar, where punters are encouraged to get sweaty.
167 8th Avenue, NY 10011

SPLASH BAR
Although this is called a bar, this is perhaps more properly a small club. With regular events like Twink Tuesdays, Bingo Sundays and Campus Thursdays, younger partygoers are sure to want to dive right in! Emily McNamara compères on Mondays.
50 West 17 Street, NY 10011