Dear Simon

Simon,

My Dad has recently come out. Now, as a gay man myself I shouldn’t probably feel the way that I do but I am really upset and quite angry about it. Partly because he is leaving my mother, though I know in the long term that’s for the best, but also because I feel we have all been living a lie and when I came out he was really distant with me. It also makes me wonder if he will make a move on my boyfriend.

Paul, Notts

Dear Paul,

You are right – it is the best for your mother and everyone in the long term. With regards to how you should or shouldn’t feel, ignore that, this is a huge shock to you and so you are going to have many emotions to deal with. Maybe your Dad was distant with you because he knew he couldn’t be as open with you and yet you could be open with everyone. As to stealing your boyfriends, why do you suddenly see your dad as a predator or competition? Do you suddenly move in the same circles? Does he not have mates of his own? Give the man a chance he’s obviously been struggling with this decision for a very long time.

Dear Simon

I really fancy the guy that I have been seeing, but there is a slight catch. It’s his dick. It’s not too small and it’s not too big, in fact, you could say that it is the perfect size. The problem with it is that it’s ugly and I don’t want to touch it, which being a gay man is quite a problem in a relationship. I don’t really know how to get around it, what advice do you have.

Anon, Leicestershire

Dear Anon,

I haven’t encountered this problem before. I guess it depends how important a partner’s pecker is to you. I think I have been very fortunate in the fact I have never come across an ugly one before, but I can understand this must be difficult if you don’t want to touch it. In what way is it ugly? Is it still ugly with the lights out? Does it not even appeal when his underpants hide it? Sadly, as I don’t think things should be all about the aesthetics, this seems like it could be a deal breaker.

Dear Simon

I hate my best friend’s partner. They have been dating for about six months now and it is really becoming between us. I am not jealous or wanting my friend all for myself, I just think his boyfriend is a complete arsehole. He bosses him around, makes him feel like shit about himself and generally is no good. The thing is how do I tell my friend, as he is so head over heels he forgives him everything.

Tony, London

Dear Tony,

Don’t tell your best friend you hate his boyfriend as this could actually ruin your friendship far more. I would suggest that you keep schtum on the whole subject and let the relationship run its course. If it ends… be the best friend you can by supporting him during that period. If they don’t split up, just try and do as little with his boyfriend as possible to stop yourself from saying something you might regret. Just like we can’t choose our family, we can’t choose who our friends date. Remember, he’s not asking for any approval he has what he wants.